Chapter 5: “The SoCal American Dream” — September 2010”

“Weston — c’mon buddy — you have to go potty after drinking all of that milk”, said Kaitlyn… “We have to go meet daddy for your surfing lesson”…

“What’d you say, mommy”? Weston’s generic response. “You heard me…” “Toddlers”, whispers K. And, laughs.

Driving West from Studio City — on Ventura Boulevard toward Sepulvada — Kaitlyn peaks in the rear view mirror at Weston (now sitting forward facing at four years old) — and he reminds her so much of Bryce (the smirk specifically). 

The eight years after “reuniting” on the Strip in 2002 was invigorating — for both her and Bryce. Their passion and love for each other makes folks around them envy it so. And, their love for their son the past four years has been like most new parents. Total bliss.

Bryce became an agency principal with Fresh. Ideas. Inspire. after bringing on multiple rather large retainer clients and K found new writing glory in a series of children’s books titled “There’s A Moth In My Daddy’s Coffee”. Self-published and marketed via Bryce’s agency. 

With their modest house in Studio City — one can say — they are living the American Dream — SoCal style. 

Until that day…

“Daddy — I made this for you at school” (Weston just started pre-school), said their son — “it’s a picture frame of you and mommy”…

“Thanks buddy”, said Bryce. “Ready for your lesson with Mr. Dalton?” “Yupper…” said Weston.

Bryce had become quite the surfing novice under Dalton’s guise and even Kaitlyn paddles out with him quite often — it’s indeed a family affair now. 

••••

Chapter 4: “The Hunt — July 3, 2002”

"Now boarding our First Class passengers to Los Angeles", said a voice over the intercom. "That's us K", said Jonathan. 

It was the day before the July 4th holiday (a Wednesday to be exact) and Em had convinced Kaitlyn to travel West and "find her man". But not alone... Jonathan, Bryce's best buddy is leading this expedition. "K, Bryce would want me to make sure you are safe and have a travel companion", said Jonathan. "Anyway, this is exciting shit, I wouldn't miss it". "Thank you Jonathan", replies Kaitlyn (and, softly kisses his cheek). 

"I noticed that you checked two bags for a quick trip"? said Jonathan. That question/comment took Kaitlyn by surprise for a second; "Ha, well if all goes 'to plan' -- I won't be coming back East hun", she replies. "Em has 'instructions' to deliver my resignation to the Powers That Be on Monday actually"... Onward.

Drifting off on the flight (as Jonathan is absorbed with cocktails and hitting on our stewardess) -- Kaitlyn remembers fondly a conversation with her 'LA uncle' at her parent's home in Derby, Connecticut (The All-American Valley as its coined) 11 years ago (for her Sweet 16 Party). 

"K, he said -- I met your late Aunt Savannah in 87' at the Hollywood Bowl -- while standing in line for a beer... It was actually a 'cool' (for LA) Autumn day and it was intermission between sets before Guns N' Roses kicked off its Appetite For Destruction tour.. "Anyway, all I truly remember was thinking about how she made me so 'nervous' -- there was just something about her that shone through -- it was grace. A rare thing these days -- unfortunately. You have the same trait Goddaugher -- please don't forget this... make sure, when you are older, that the man that steals your heart -- deserves you"...

Finding Bryce in the City of Angels would not be as hard as one would expect -- two days prior -- Bryce had mentioned to Jonathan that he would be at the Rainbow Room the night before the 4th for a little shindig (Bryce always asks about how "she" is when he talks with Jonathan, part of the reason Jonathan wanted so badly to be on this expedition). For Kaityln -- walking down the Strip to find her "bo”  was becoming increasingly harder -- her anxiety, her inability to walk even was sobering for sure...

“Welcome to the jungle, we have fun and games”… Ahh — old GNR’ was suggestively blaring when Kaitlyn walked through the mystique of the entryway to the Rainbow Room — Jonathan two feet behind her… and, there Bryce was — sitting solo, at the bar, with a lonely look on his face. Her heart melted. For his part — he was wearing jeans, “his languished boots” and country looking button up. She chuckled nervously. Her — a white sundress — with cowgirl boots (his favorite look on her)…

She quietly walks over, saddles up two stools over to him and quietly announces “I never want to be without you again for 16 months”… “There — I said it”… with a solitary tear scrolling down her cheek.

For his part — Bryce, wide-eyed, glances over, deliberately sips his whisky and says “I’ll never leave your side again — through good or bad baby”… “Thank you for finding me”. He shuffles over, slowly rubs her cheek and kisses her convincingly. Neither heard old Jonathan ordering a beer next to them — when they indeed noticed him — he was already flirting with a blonde…

••••

Chapter 3: “Re-Setting In La La Land — Studio City, Los Angeles -- June 2002”

I have been "re-setting" in Los Angeles for about 15 months  -- full time creative consultant for boutique advertising agencies by day -- inspiring novelist by night (sometimes). I'm known in the biz as an idea man. 

The former pays the bills and allows me to keep a small promise to myself -- give SoCal a try before I settle down anywhere else. One thing that inspires me about Los Angeles strangely is that everyone has an angle -- or, as someone declared to me last week -- "a script in their back pocket". 

Plus, if you are in the "creative idea" business -- LA is a solid place for material. No one comes to LA without some kind of dream or angle. Sadly, however, normally those dreams come to an end -- here in Hollywood. 

Today -- I'm heading down to Malibu to meet with a slightly known (more distinguished in his mind, so I've heard) Beverly Hills plastic surgeon named Stetson -- his practice is looking to brand itself around Hollywood as the "practice for B-List stars". A second tier practice for the rest of LA. I've been hired to take this meeting from a small boutique agency in Malibu called "Fresh. Ideas. Inspire." I love that name.

So, it's me, my truck, some country music and my thoughts focused on anything but Stetson. Most of my time honestly is thinking about Kaitlyn; what's she doing in New Haven - we haven't spoken in 15 months...

One of the things I truly admired about her (on top of her stark blue/grey eyes) was her outlook on being a journalist. She was an investigative reporter - harkening back to a time of gritty, muckrakers. You could say Kaitlyn had a bit of Rosalind Russell's character in her from His Girl Friday. Whip smart, and sharp with the tongue.

"Bryce", she would say -- "we both deserved to be adults in the 40's and 50's -- the music, writing, agencies, lifestyle". I would smirk, shake my head and agree.

As I pulled in to the hotel's parking lot -- I could see Stetson (I pinged his picture online) sitting cross-legged on the impressive deck that was structured to sit over the cliff -- looking out over the stunning Pacific. It was noon exactly -- just the right time for a whisky -- two cubes. Hey -- I'm an idea man, they don't come cheap. Or, without stimulation. 

"Mr. Canner, good to meet you", said Stetson -- with an outreached hand. "The pleasure is truly mine Sir", my generic response. 

••••

Chapter 2: “Open Eyes — New Haven, Connecticut -- May 2002”

Enjoying breakfast alone at 7:00AM (precisely) has unfortunately been the norm for Kaitlyn the past 14 months. It's not that she doesn't accept being alone (most days), moreover, it is the reality that her favorite part of the day was breakfast with him. 

This Monday morning her closest girlfriend Emily is meeting her at their favorite New Haven breakfast eatery -- The Pantry. They decided to take a "mental health" day. And, with Connecticut experiencing an early summer -- the beach is calling both of their names. 

Both, are full time journalists for local and national news organizations. Did their undergraduate and graduate work together at NYU -- and have been in the game for the past 5 years. 

"Hey beautiful", said Emily. "Morning Em, ready for our day"? said Kaitlyn.

"Absolutely"... smiling as Em replied.

It's been 14 months since Bryce left to fulfill a "promise" he made to himself. And, with his line of work, he can essentially live and work anywhere. Kaitlyn understood his decision to leave, but not his poor decision (her thoughts) not to ask her to join him. She would of. In a second. 

In these quiet moments, like this morning waiting for Em, she knows Bryce is the one she has been waiting for -- to trust, to commit to, to be with for her days. 

Of course -- she's never breathed a word of this to him in the 9 months they were dating. She's guarded. Like him.

"So, have you thought about our texting back and forth yesterday"? said Em. "Only for most of the night", said Kaitlyn. They both laughed. "What do you have to lose -- minus self-esteem, dignity, your job..." said Em. They both laughed again. 

"Can I get you ladies started with something this morning"? said the waitress. "Two black coffees, two avocado omelettes -- thank you", said Em. 

"You think I should just track him down in CA"? said Kaitlyn. "Honestly, you have nothing to lose; it's like a Hollywood movie." "Besides, Bryce is the one for you -- we all see it." "You will always regret not telling him -- in person." Said Em. 

"Sweet...breakfast..." said Kaitlyn.
••••

Chapter 1: “You Are Here — Santa Monica, California -- May, 2002”

Quietly the ocean calms me. Tempers my racing mind. The sun cuts through the smog and begins to warm my face and hands. "This is why I am here." I softly utter. "Onward." I whisper. As if the seabird perched on the rolling wave ten feet to my right worried at all about my reassurances. Southern California would be just "another stop", a small promise to myself. Holistically it wouldn't matter. 

What mattered was her.  I am pinning this exact moment as the time I realized I want to be protected from a life of not following your heart -- of always having one foot out the door when it came to a woman's unconditional trust and love. 

My "reassurances" remind me of a Jason Isbell lyric --- "A heart on the run, keeps a hand on a gun, it can't trust anyone." 

I knew then, that Kaitlyn should be my woman, and I would begin to commit --- if we ever see each other again. 

"This is why I'm here." Once again I quietly say as the seabird glances poignantly in my direction.

I paddled out far enough from shore to be comfortably alone. I would wade in the water until my thoughts stacked up, felt right at 6:30AM. Although, honestly, all I really wanted was a rich and smooth cup of coffee from Cora's on Ocean Ave. Twenty more minutes and I'll paddle in, or maybe I'll actually ride this short board to shore instead. Doubtful. 

I strolled in to Cora's at precisely 7:00AM (my norm). "Good morning Bryce", said Carmen. A Columbian beauty --- her long body and straight black hair intoxicates me and she is dressed down in tan chinos and a white, v-neck tee. We chat every morning. "How were the waves"? Her question seemed to catch me off guard. And, she noticed that hiccup. I nodded and said, "They were there, I was not". "Yes", she said. Smiled, then "Drifting were we?" 

If she only knew. 

Breakfast at Cora's is, as always, fantastic -- today -- the orange pancakes were my fuel for the day.

For her part, Carmen and I had recent history -- I adored her integrity, smarts, beauty and company; but that was all. And, she knew that. However, she never shows me that it bothers her -- she is in her last days of med school and I too was only a "stop" for her -- like me and SoCal. 

My last thought cut off by Carmen, "See you for drinks tonight...my place?" "Always", I said. 

Onward.
••••